“A diplomat is a man who always remembers a woman’s birthday but never remembers her age.”
Robert Frost

Things Man Should Know About Women
collected by Maya

*Women recognize if a man likes women

*Women like a man who likes women who like to eat

  • Kiss, for which she doesn’t have to beg, is for a woman the
    same, what’s for a man free playoff tickets.

  • Even better are the flowers on different days than Valentine’s Day, birthday, or anniversaries.

  • Speaking of flowers, the most effective impact is when
    delivered to the job.

  • Back to kissing: more lip, less tongue.

  • Kiss her gently on the back, neck, back of knees.

  • While the occasional quick love bite is in a certain context
    welcomed, the constant gnawing like an animal, what has one leg caught in a trap: no.

  • Although wearing cruelly sexy underwear, when stripped for the first time you see her, she prefers white cotton panties.

  • When you ask her about her previous boyfriend and she puts on such a small, wistful smile, change the subject.

  • A man should not be having a previous girlfriend.

  • If she doesn’t believe that you have no any ex-girlfriend,
    admit only one and say: “She was stupid, did not know how to dress, was impossible in bed, couldn’t cook, and had warts on her chest.”

  • It wouldn’t hurt to add that you love animals, enjoy children, sometimes voluntarily help out and think that if the Church was not against the use of condoms, you could enter the priesthood.

  • Never let her go alone to the movies, party, or another similar event.

  • Her work is just as important as yours.

  • When practicing, compliment her muscles.

  • When she asked whether she is fat, even though it’s been for the thousandth time, you must always be ready with an immediate calm “Noo … so … a little …!”

  • Well, now we make fun of you.
    Now we don’t. Don’t do it. Instead of say: “Of course not.”

  • Not to do on the first date:
    avoid too exaggerate clothing, neither underestimate it, don’t come too early, either too late, and don’t talk too much about yourself.

  • What helps your relationship: Please add the following information: wedding anniversary: _____; her birthday: ________; dress size: ________; shoe size: ______; bra size: ___.

  • You will never know how to kiss so well that you could boast about it.

  • Do not insult her friends, even if she offends them herself.

  • More than anything else, women want you to make them laugh.

  • For women is less exciting when you give them a gift like lingerie than it is for you when you give it to them.

  • For women, it is less exciting to sleep with another woman for your pleasure than you might think.

  • For women is not exciting to see you sleep with another woman.

  • Avoid a woman who is constantly in a fight with her mother or his sister.

  • Look for the woman who gets along well with both.

  • Women can’t tolerate men who lie.

  • Women like men who have close friends.

  • No matter how quick the glance, women always know when you’re looking at their breasts.

  • What you mustn’t do on a second meeting: see the instructions for a first date and what’s more, do not pretend that now you have the right to sex.

  • When you go shopping with more than one woman, it’ll cost you at least seventeen hours of your time, during which you could take a nap.

  • Women want to pay for dinner.
    It’s pointless to argue with her when you can’t win.
    (Pls note, such doesn’t fly in Russia, where MAN is the one who takes care of the Bill!)

  • Regardless, you’ll not win.

  • A good woman is as excited about a gift that costs nothing then about a gift which is expensive.

  • Women must pay more for their hair salon, dry cleaning, and shoes. And it bothers them.

  • Women have to buy each new season for some clothes. From that, they have fun.

  • While it is for women “love at first sight” theoretically appealing, in fact, it terrifies them.

  • That witty and perfect gift that shows you’ve been listening is twice as better than anything you buy from Tiffany’s.

  • Of course, it does not hurt if that perfect gift happens to be from Tiffany’s.

  • Gifts that can be funny, but never perfect: blender, meat beater, a vacuum cleaner, or waffle iron.

  • While a “YES” sometimes means “NO”, “NO” always means “NO.”

  • You’ll know it when she orders a garlic sauce, twists her hair around her finger while gazing absently, gets up from the table to go to the bathroom, and never returns.

  • What you may not do on a third meeting: see the instructions for the first and second dates, and also don’t talk about that you never wanted to have children, and now for that reason, you want them immediately.

  • A woman is like a man a human being, and thus appreciates it when you ask her some questions about herself.

  • Most women dislike fishing, golf, bowling, or poker. Therefore, man must find at least one of these hobbies, because if don’t interest women, a man can go there, drink and keep lively discussion, how else than about women.

  • Never ask a woman why she angry, because she’ll become even angrier because you do not know that.

  • If you were single, tango would help you. If you are married, dance it also. Perhaps even with your wife.

  • Women do not like it when you change your scent.

  • Women do not like to contemplate whether they should occasionally order dessert.

  • 0.05% of men are so attractive that they don’t have to be courteous.

  • Most women over twenty-five admire such men with a sufficient distance.

  • Love does not mean you never have to apologize for anything. It means that you have to keep apologizing always, and again and in a different way, every day, every week, every month, even if you don’t want to, every year until God has mercy on you and you finally die happily.

  • With women who come from larger families, there is more fun.

  • Women who have two or more brothers would be surely less disappointed with you.

Women, despite all those years when you were trying to understand them, including your thorough knowledge of Freud’s psychology, reading the occasional magazine, Cosmopolitan, and that you remembered all fifty-eight things that man should know about women, would forever remain a mystery.

All the best, especially in your quest…

About Woman

Leonard Cohen – Dance Me To The End Of Love

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